The Scene
by BlueJey
Summary: Kiba is a loyal and nice guy, he really is. But even Kiba can't protect everyone from everything. Especially not when Ino and Sakura are involved. Post-Naruto, slightly insane and not to be taken serious. Mentions of SasuNaru slash! OneShot


**The Scene**

Manga/Anime: Naruto

Pairing: Consider it SasuNaru...

Disclaimer: No, I don't own anything beside the idea. Which is rather stupid and won't bring any profit. Happy?

Author's Note: It's not my fault, seriosly! The idea just popped up in my head and refused to get out again! ...okay, I just wanted to write something with Kiba in it and the story I wanted to write, well... It died the moment my pen first touched the paper... So don't expect too much non-stupidity in this.

* * *

"Don't you think we should stop them?"

"Do you honestly think we _could _stop them?"

Kiba bit his lower lip, concern evident on his face.

"I just mean... that can't be healthy... They can die from that," he added as an afterthougt.

"They're shinobi. They'll live," Shino replied evenly, taking a sip of his beer.

"Yeah, but it's _them_." Kiba really was a little worried. "You _know _there is a point where they just stop thinking..."

Shino sighed and put his beer glass down.

"You're the one who dared them into... _this _in the first place." He watched The Scene across the table with one of those _looks _of his that just said everything unsaid.

"Yeah, I know...! But they're doing this since when - ten minutes ago? And I don't see them breathe..."

"Hell, shut up now, will ya?!" Ino suddenly hollered from his left, making Hinata between them jump and hurriedly look away from The Scene - _blushing_.

Kiba seriously didn't like this, but then again, it didn't concern him enough to go against Ino... Not when she was in her fangirl mode. And not when she had Sakura on her side.

Minutes passed silently.

Or at least as silently as they could in a bar _this _crowded...

"I don't like to say it"

Kiba's head shot up from its position on the table (where he'd smashed it a short time ago), eyes glimmering with hope as Neji spoke from the head of the table.

"But I'm starting to think that Kiba's right. They _aren't _breathing"

"We have two medics and you and Hinata here," Sakura stated in a low voice that was filled with that special, fangirlish kind of excitement that situations like _this _always seemed to rise. "We'd probably get them back to life - even if they really dropped dead right now"

Her eyes hadn't moved away from The Scene as if she was sucking up every single second she could. Which was pretty sure exactly what she was doing...

Kiba hazarded the guess that she hadn't blinked the last ten-and-somewhat minutes...

He shot Neji a glance that almost screamed 'Don't give up now!', but the Hyuuga just shrugged and went back to playing cards with Shikamaru. (He'd only lost 21 times so far... but then again, their current round was round 22...)

If Kiba wasn't Kiba, he'd cry now.

He would have to feel guilty for the rest of his life if they died because of him!

"Shino..." he begged again, this time in the best 'Pity me!' voice he could manage and combined with his best lost-puppy look. "Do something!"

The Aburame stared at him in disbelieve before gulping down his eighth beer. (Well, the eighth beer since Kiba had started counting. Which had been after he had asked him to stop _them _the first time. Which had been ten-and-somewhat minutes ago. That guy really _had _a high tolerance...)

"I mean it!" Kiba whined when the other shinobi went back to ignoring him.

"I know"

Gods, this was frustrating!

More minutes passed more or less silently.

Hinata shifted in her chair and the wooden chair legs creaking over the floor made half of their little group jump - which meant herself, Kiba and Chouji, because Neji and Shino never jumped, Shikamaru didn't care anyway and Sakura and Ino were too busy with practically drooling on The Scene across the table.

His senses were tingling.

His best friend's life was in danger and nobody was willing to do something?! How low had Konoha sunk??

And just to say it - no one could blame him! No, not really. Not at all...

Because, hey, honestly!

HOW THE _FUCKING _HELL COULD HE HAVE KNOWN THAT NARUTO WOULD _COMPLY _WHEN HE DARED HIM TO KISS THE _DAMN _UCHIHA-BASTARD??? WAS THAT GUY COMPLETELY INSANE?!

He was once again just about to try and make someone _stop _them, when they suddenly - without any kind of sign or warning - broke apart, gasping for air.

Kiba's jaw dropped.

He was almost twenty. He was _not _a virgin. And he FUCKING _knew _the difference between panting due to lack of oxygen and _panting _due to something entirely different!

And what Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke just _did _- in front of almost _all _of their friends - was definitely not purely because they were out of air! (Though it _might _play a role...)

"24 minutes and 37 seconds," Shikamaru commented dryly and without looking up from his cards. (He'd just beaten Neji for the 39th time a moment ago.)

"You _counted_?!" Kiba was slowly starting to believe he was the only sane person here...

Shikamaru just shrugged, lazy as ever. "Bored," he murmured and Neji looked at least a little pissed.

The Inuzuka was about to comment on that as he was noisyly reminded of _why _he had the time to bother with that Nara-guy. Because Naruto was still alive.

Ino and Sakura had just begun to applaud, Naruto grinning back at them.

"Now, now - who broke the kiss?!" Ino asked as eager as always to explore other people's sex-or-similar-to-that life. (Kiba for his part really would consider a 25 minute kiss sex...)

"Yeah - who won?!" Sakura was up on her feet by now, looking like she was about to throw herself across the table at any second...

Naruto continued to grin. And yes, Kiba had to admit that even for Naruto, it was a rather stupid grin.

And then, Kiba froze.

Shino cocked an eyebrow - unseen, of course.

Neji was close to activating the Byakugan.

Hinata was close to passing out.

Shikamaru didn't really care.

And _then_, Naruto fell backwards, coliding with the ground with a loud 'thump' noise.

Kiba stared in shock.

Shino cocked his second eyebrow, too - still hidden by his sun glasses.

Neji blinked.

Hinata sank back against her chair.

Shikamaru didn't really care at all...

There was silence.

Sasuke's head hit the table in front of him.

More silence.

And _THEN_, Ino and Sakura burst out laughing, Shino sighed, Neji looked pissed and Shikamaru looked up. Hinata finally fainted, nosebleeding.

"OH MY GOD!" Kiba squeaked, jumping to his feet.

He could already read tomorrow's newspaper's topic:

_Legendary ex-missing nin Uchiha Sasuke and even more legendary  
__Jinchuuriki Uzumaki Naruto - died after 24 min and 34 sec of  
__KISSING!!!_

"If you die now it'd be my fault, so get the fuck up, you jerk!!!"

Ino and Sakura were going to die from laughter, Hinata from bloodloss - and Tsunade would kill the rest of them!

Fife shinobi - four of them Jounin - down in one night - without even one enemy involved - could it even get any worse?!?

"Now, that was quite a show, wasn't it?"

Kiba barely managed to surpress a startled cry when he heard Kakashi's voice from way too close behind him, spun around just to find himself practically face to face with Konoha's infamous pervert-nin.

"I think we should bring them home now, shouldn't we?"

And suddenly, Kiba knew he'd be fighting a lonely fight if he tried to defend Naruto.

He would do almost everything for the blond, honestly and in all seriousness. He'd die for him, endure torture and pain, give almost everything he had.

But he was not - no, definitaly _not _- going to fight _the _Hatake Kakashi - not when he was joining forces with Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino...

Because his sanity was the point where 'everything' ended.

He hoped Naruto would survive the night...


End file.
